We Were Strangers Once Too
by corn4corn
Summary: ulysses/f!courier thing. after the second battle of hoover dam. updates usually every other month, a few chapters at a time. this is the first story ive published, so reviews and criticism is welcome. i know its allll over the place but i hope you enjoy the tale.
1. Part 1

_We Were Strangers Once Too._

_Foreword._

_I'd like to thank you for at least attempting to read. I've always written in secret, afraid of all the what if's, but I feel as though I should work out of that. If writing a one page outline counts, then I've never done something so planned before, outside of school at least. Usually I just write what I feel. I'll be doing that, of course, but with a little more organization and forethought hopefully. I'll stop being mushy now. Thanks again._

_Haley (corn4corn)_

_28 November, 2014_

* * *

_Part 1_

She sat on the side of the bed. 3:00 am ticks by on her pip-boy, and she realizes how long she's been sitting, staring, eyes like pilot lights.

The second battle of hoover dam went off without a hitch. She remembers the smile on Boone's face as he saw Legion scatter like fire ants over Fortification Hill in retreat.

So many emotions. Liberation, bliss, pride, but still, apprehension remained in the back of her mind. All of those Legionaries had to be heading somewhere. She would have preferred to take them out, save others trouble, but she had a good feeling that this was enough.

She did not jump as the door to her room in the Lucky 38 squeaked open slightly, dim light leaking in from the hall as it opened more and a figure entered. She already knew who it was. He flipped the light switch and a nearby floor lamp flickered on.

"Why are you up?" Boone's voice eased into the room.

"I don't know. I guess I can't sleep." She put down her arm and stared at her feet. Unusual behavior, something Boone had only saw once before. Ordinarily, she is confident and unfaltering. She is not right now.

He hummed and walked from the doorway to sit by her. Her eyes remained glued to her feet. She felt strangely as if something were still very wrong. Not Legion. Not NCR. Something far away, something impossible.

She is not a dumb woman, she knows it will come to her soon, and does not feel worry. However it still tugs at her mind, not letting her forget.

"Yeonmi."

She looks up slowly, not at him, and takes a shallow, deep breath. She understands his concern, but won't attempt to reassure him. He would worry regardless. He knows she's good at hiding things like that.

Everything is fine, she thinks. If not, everything will be fine eventually.

"Maybe you should take a bath. Wake you up a little, give you time to think."

She appreciates the idea and nods. Yeonmi rises and crosses her arm before setting off to the bathroom.

He thinks about his tour with the NCR, how many times Manny caught him the exact same way at all hours of the morning. He knows she is a strong woman, mentally capable of handling much worse than Hoover Dam. So he figures something else may be bothering her, but doesn't dwell on it.

* * *

Yeonmi starts the bath as quietly as she can. Then she remembers it is just her and Boone living here, no longer her whole gang of companions.

She disengages her pip-boy, removes her pajamas and waits for the water to fill.

Water in the Lucky 38 is actually warm. A miracle and a blessing all wrapped in a clean porcelain bath. She enters the warm bath and almost fears she might fall asleep and drown. She submerges herself up to her eyes, then completely, and thinks this is the best anyone can feel. Aside from old memories keeping her up at 3AM, staring at nothing like a lunatic. But she doesn't linger on it or let it ruin the moment, and decides on being content.

Boone and her are similar in that respect.

After the water turns cold, she decides time is up and she gets out, dresses and checks the time.

She is not surprised when the clock reads 5:20 AM. She is not surprised when she comes across Boone cleaning his rifle on the dining room table. She is not upset at the mess.

"I made coffee." He offers. She accepts, and makes herself a cup, then sits across from him.

He wants to ask, but doesn't feel it is in his place. He's been there. Old ghosts of the past haunting you when you least expect it. When you finally find contentment, they slither from the seams and cloud your brain at 3AM.

He has been here.

She is getting an idea of what may be bothering her, but won't say anything just yet. Not until she is sure. Neither of them speak. Yeonmi finishes her coffee, and places the cup in the sink. Boone has almost finished with her rife, dubbed '_Courier's Patience_'by Veronica.

Yeonmi is unsure what to do. She usually has some sort of mission to complete. Something to receive. Something to fix. Someone to help.

She thinks of Arcade, but imagines he's busy enough helping at the Fort. And trying to teach Veronica at the same time must be exhausting enough.

She goes back to her room and beelines for her desk unconsciously. She unlocks the bottommost drawer and takes out an envelope, opens it with care and takes out the first paper.

The beginning. Order 6 of 6. She hasn't carried a package since. Nothing that was just mail. There was always some sort of known objective, more complicated than just carrying postal. An anonymous package. No personal involvement.

"_You are an authorized agent of the Mojave Express Package until delivery is complete and payment has been processed, contractually obligated to complete this transaction and materially responsible for any malfeasance or loss. Failure to deliver the proper recipient may result in forfeiture of your advance and bonus, criminal charges, and/or pursuit by mercenary reclamation teams._"

'An authorized agent' sounds so serious for a mere 250 caps.

The second paper is something much more personal. A simple note that reads "Courier Six. –Ulysses".

She remembers spending almost every free moment she can reading this order, then this note. Order, note, order, note. A never-ending series of the same questions that have the same empty answer. Something along the lines of, sometimes things simply happen for a reason that we can't ever understand.

She remembers too much.

Though she feels as if this is the last thing that is bothering her.

An answer.

She will not, cannot, be content until she has one.

She runs her fingers over the name Ulysses. Remembers her tour through the Divide. Every second etched into her brain for later review. Looking for more answers.

A knot forms in her stomach, weighing her down.

Rex jumps from her bed and sits at her feet.

She lowers the letter and smiles at him.

"Good morning buddy. I hope I didn't wake you up."

Her motherly side comes out, even when talking to a dog. She sits on her legs in front of him and refolds her letter. Turns it upside down in her hands, then back again.

"I think I have to go buddy. I don't know where. Maybe someone can help me."

She finds herself more able to confide in a dog than a person. Even if he wanted to say something, he was unable. He is the perfect person to hold a conversation with to her.

Both the letter and the note return to the envelope. The drawer is locked again, but she keeps the envelope with her.

She dresses quietly in her traveling clothes and begins packing her bag.

Of course Boone hears her. He finishes cleaning her rifle and brings it to her.

He enters the room and her eyes immediately meet his. An apology develops in her eyes.

"Do what you need to." Is all he says.

And it is more than enough.


	2. Part 2

_Part 2_

She arrives at the canyon wreckage two days later. "You can go home courier" still remain scratched on the barricade and she thinks.

"Where is home?"

It feels as though she's been punched in the stomach. The wind is knocked out of her. This is what she was looking for. This is the question that needed answering.

Where is home?

She is filled with dread for reasons she can't explain. It feels like suddenly remembering something very important that you have forgotten. She has forgotten for so long.

She can't make it to the mouth of the Hopeville missile silo before spotting a tent perched on the cliff where she last saw him.

Ulysses.

She is filled with angst. She knows he does not appreciate her presence, and though much was resolved during her tour, some topics remain untouched. Maybe for better, but not for long.

Yeonmi does not like feeling so many terrible emotions. She wants to go back to the Lucky 38, curl up next to Rex, and forget any of this ever happened.

Dread is not pretty on her. Veronica once said it makes her look and act like a 'Deathclaw that woke up on the wrong side of the bed', then started speculating on Deathclaw living habits.

Yeonmi tries to laugh at the memory.

She approaches the tent and peers in, finding it vacant. She sighs and looks over the bluff.

The devastation she unintentionally caused makes her shiver every time she even imagines it.

Ulysses said she built this community effortlessly and destroyed it just as easily.

She thinks she is not capable.

She does not dwell.

Before she can set out to track down Ulysses, he finds her. Yeonmi hears him approach from the direction of the missile silo. She attempts to look as calm as she can, remembering irritable deathclaws.

She thinks she should have thought of what to say.

"I need to go home." She finds the direct approach is always the best way to deal with these things.

He is silent. She does not look at him.

"I know this seems out of place for me to ask, but it seems like you're the only one who at least knew of me before all of this." She looks down again, completely ashamed she would even consider asking _him_. She wants to curl up in the 38 again.

"Define home." His voice shakes her.

"I've dealt with Hoover dam. NCR. Legion. I should be content now, everything can work itself out now, except." She turns to him. "I feel like I'm missing something. Something big. Specifically, the first 35 years of my life."

The wind picks up. Yeonmi can feel a thousand dead souls screaming at her. This is not her home. Far from it. He knows it too.

"I don't know so much about you."

She is disappointed, but remains composed.

"I do know where you came from. Not why." Ulysses would be lying if he said he wasn't interested himself in why she came here. Why their paths crossed.

Hope swells in Yeonmi's stomach.

"But would you take me there? Could you put up with me for that long?"

"Your home is very far north. Probably 500 miles."

500 miles was conceivable. She fought the urge to smile like an idiot.

"You still didn't answer my question."

He approached her. Stood next to her and looked down towards the Divide. She looked back too.

"This can hardly be a home for anyone now. Where you're from though… I'm unsure of why you left. Maybe looking for bigger things. Trouble, maybe."

She listened silently.

"I can take you."

She looks at him, hiding shock. He looks ahead, emotionless as ever.

He removes his mask and for the first time she can remember, she sees his full face.

"I won't be needing this out there." He goes to his tent and starts packing things. When he leaves, Yeonmi fights the urge to laugh. She's impressed herself, but also shocked herself all the same. Convincing him was unbelievably easy. She thinks maybe he doesn't have much else to do.

Thanks to her, she guesses.

* * *

"_I don't know when I'll be back. I'll send letters as much as I can, but after I get so far out, I might not send so many. Very few postal services would carry a letter 500 miles. I won't die, so don't get all worked up thinking you'll never see me again. I promise I'll come back. With presents. Any of you are welcome to stay at the 38 whenever you want. Veronica, you can order all the room service you want. No parties without me._

_Arcade: Thank you for helping out Veronica. You're definitely my favourite._

_Veronica: Thank you for not being a pain in Arcade's ass._

_Boone: Please be careful. I'm thinking about you. Don't hurt Rex._

_Rex: I love you. Be good for Boone._

_Yeonmi_"

"Don't read it until you're all together."

He nods.

"And don't feel like you just need to sit around."

He nods.

"You can get a job. Maybe merc work would suit you."

He nods.

"I'm sorry, I'm doing it again aren't I?"

He nods again, with the ghost of a smile on his face.

"You know how I worry…" She sounds like a mother sending her kid off to their first day of first grade.

"I'm an adult, I can handle myself, I promise."

She looks at him. Eyes piercing through his, and she can tell he means it. She quickly hugs him.

"I'll see you later, then." She smiles a concerned smile.

"See you." He replies, and they're off.

3


	3. Part 3

_Part 3_

The Lucky 38 was now barely visible as she looked back. A needle sticking upwards in the distance. She wonders if this is a good idea. 500 miles is a long way.

She decides to just keep walking.

Ulysses is in front of her. They haven't talked since The Divide. He is not angry or upset. Genuinely curious would fit the description.

The sun beats down on them as always.

Yeonmi isn't a fan of this silence, but they can't exactly talk for 500 miles straight. She tries to come up with questions in her head, saving them for later.

* * *

After six hours of straight walking, they come across a little gas station. It looks well weathered but capable.

Six hours of straight walking was something they would have to get used to, in order to make it in less than a year.

Yeonmi checks her pip-boy time, remembering 3:00 AM. It is 6:25 PM. The sun is lowering quickly. Looking out, she doesn't see any more buildings besides a small few houses around half a mile up. Sand as far as the eye can see. Some mountain ranges line the horizon.

"We should stop." She walks up next to him.

He nods. And they make their way to the small collection of sheds.

He enters and she goes to look for supplies for a fire. She walks around back and finds a tire and drags is to the back of the building. No need to start a flare on the side of the road.

She heard growling behind her and recognizes it. A dog. She takes out her 10mm and shoots it twice, piercing the skull. It drops to the ground with a light thud. She drags the body around the corner before it starts bleeding everywhere and returns to her fire. Ulysses comes out, in no rush.

"Just a dog. How's the building looking?"

"Good enough."

"Great," she wipes her forehead, "could you help look for firewood? We won't need much."

After collecting as much scrap wood as they could, they start eating.

"So, where is this town I lived in?" Yeonmi asks.

"Little place called Grass Valley. No Legion or NCR that far north, either. Not yet, at least." Ulysses does not make eye contact.

"I've never heard of it."

"Ever heard of New Reno?"

She nods.

"It's about half-way between us and there."

She hums and places her head on her knees, unable to find an appetite even though she hadn't eaten all day.

"So how do you know this anyways?"

"I met you. Before. You were very different, always had an energy about you. Always busy though. We didn't have much time to talk before you left. I've walked this road before. After I left New Canaan and the White Legs, I traveled to a bigger town a few miles north of your town, Winnemucca," He picked up a stick and drew an oval, representing the Great Salt Lake, then a line to Winnemucca. Then he drew a path down. 500 miles. A dot half way through, New Reno. A dot at the end, New Vegas.

She feels like she needs to keep the conversation going.

"Where are you from?"

"Arizona."

She could tell it was something he wasn't fond of. She remembered how he talked about the fate of the Twisted Hairs. The tone of his voice was a bit shocking, up until then he was monotone. Even though his nature was accusatory, it was nice to see he was human after all.

"I see." She didn't want to push the conversation any more. They had a long trip ahead of them and wanted to time their conversations.

He didn't mind her asking, thinks it's strange she would want to know something so trivial.

* * *

After another full day of walking, they came across a small town full of nothing but ghouls. Just as they were nearing, a man walked out a bit to meet them halfway.

"Nice to meet you, little missy, what's your name?" He stuck his hand out, and she took it. He nearly shook her whole arm.

"I'm Yeonmi, thank you."

"And who's this?"

"Ulysses." They shake hands.

"I'm Gus, welcome to Clark. Ghoul haven in the middle of nowhere."

He led them into town. Yeonmi is reminded of Sloan.

"People pas through here all the time. Bigots mostly who don't take too kindly to a town full of ghouls." He plops down next to a girl, puts his arm around her, and lights a cigarette.

"Not that we care though. They'll find their fate out there. This is the only stop for a while." The woman speaks, placing her hand on the man's knee.

"Thank you for welcoming us." Yeonmi smiles. Veronica said she should try that more, but it feels awkward to the woman.

"You can head on over to the motel, Joanna can get you set up with a room. We're thinkin' of havin' a bonfire tonight. All of us. You can come if you want."

"Thank you again." Yeonmi bows her head a little.

"Of course sweetie, any time."

She pretends to not hear it.

* * *

The room they get is surprisingly clean. She guesses this is because there isn't much else to do out here, but clean. For fun.

Yeonmi sets her bag down on the couch. She is reminded of Novac. Thinks about sending a letter, but decides it's too early.

The first thing she does is check if the water still works. She is surprised when it does. He speaks before she can.

"I'm going to go get some supplies."

"I'll take a bath."

She hears him leave and immediately starts her bath. The water isn't warm but she does not care. Sweat and dirt from two days of straight walking covered her, and it was not a pretty look. It actually feels nice on her skin.

She thinks about him again. She never thought about how he lived, he was always an enigma to her. He ceased to exist after her tour. She imagined him somewhere far off, unreachable. Maybe even dead.

The bonfire later that night was held in front of the motel. Somewhere around two dozen ghouls and travelers were all circled around a fire pit. Yeonmi sat on the upper floor walkway of the motel, her legs hanging down. Ulysses was standing, leaning against the railing.

"Do you have any family?" She asked, and almost regretted immediately.

"Twisted Hairs were my family. I was born in."

Yeonmi was not one to nag. She knew her boundaries.

"Do you know if I have any family?"

"You told me of a sister."

What's her name?"

He thought it might not be a good idea to tell her. Might trigger something bigger.

"Sun-mi." He remembers the conversations they had so long ago. Every mile they put between The Divide and them was a step towards a better life, towards forgetting. He could forget everything. Up north, there was no Legion to find him. To remind him. He could leave this woman at her home, and keep walking.

He remembers Wolfhorn. Things were looking up then too. Things were finally looking well for him. Then things got much, much worse.

There was a sliver of hope, even just for a second.

Yeonmi ran the name through her brain a few times. Sun-mi.

"She's younger than me, isn't she?"

He nods, looking ahead. Doc Mitchell's guess was Yeonmi must be somewhere around early-mid 30's. Her mind felt clouded. Memories of a childhood long forgotten.

_A bundle of twigs and grass._

Yeonmi stands abruptly and nearly slams the door to their motel room.

She has remembered too much.


	4. Part 4

A day passes. Yeonmi and Ulysses share few words. She doesn't want to know any more yet. Although when she thinks about it, it would be better to take this slowly. Learning everything all at once would not be easy either. Coming to terms that remembering would not be easy was difficult for her.

The sun was setting just over the horizon by now, drowned in an orange coloured sky. A sight any foreigner would find striking. The orange hue of everything made Yeonmi nauseous at times. She thought of Grass Valley, and hoped everything wasn't so damn orange.

Without speaking, they both knew it would be getting cold out soon. A shack barely stood out on the side of the road. They silently decided it would be better than nothing.

Life in the wasteland taught you a few things. Crazy people exist everywhere. Literally everywhere. Even though Yeonmi was disoriented from slight exhaustion, she moved her hand to her hip, fingers ghosting her 10mm. She decides to approach first.

She listens. Perceptive as ever, Ulysses thinks.

She doesn't want to say anything but wants to warn Ulysses somehow, there are people in there. Judging by their unstable and inconsistent breathing, maybe sleeping. Maybe injured.

She holds up three fingers at him and he nods, slightly raising his pistol.

Yeonmi's hand taps lightly on the tin door.

Movement in the room.

"W-who the hell is out there?" A man answers. Something feral in his voice.

"I was just wondering if you would be willing to share for the night."

"Maybe they can help us…" A woman's voice shivers in the rickety tin building.

"We have supplies. I'm trained pretty well in medicine."

"Jay… please let them in…"

"You're crazy- They could have been the ones that killed- we can't-"

The woman moves, approaches.

A shot rings the building.

Yeonmi forces her way into the room. The woman is now lying on the ground, face down. Before she can decide what to do, he fires again, holding one of his ears from the ringing.

Yeonmi felt that familiar scorching sensation in her arm. She has been shot. She shoots him once in the left side of his chest before Ulysses swiftly fires two rounds into his neck. He isn't afraid. He knows a bullet to the arm won't kill her. He guessed she would probably be more disappointed that her jacket was now ruined.

And she was. She dropped her gun and made it to the corner of the room. Her bag was thrown into the wall. Ulysses began to move to her to assist.

"No, I'm okay. Just get the bodies out of here." She slipped off her jacket and started tending to her wound. He punished himself for thinking she would need his help.

To put some distance between them, he drags the bodies out with no rush, dragging them out a reasonable distance and leaving them next to each other. The desert got them. Extreme heat sickness. Dehydration, probably starvation as well. Probably thought they could make it further. He thinks of Gus and his shanty town of ghouls and weary travelers.

* * *

Even after Yeonmi has fixed her wound, she remains noticeably shaken. Her forehead is resting on her knees. Their bags are the only thing between them. Ulysses is eating. She is not.

"You need to eat." He doesn't look at her.

She peeks up at what's for dinner. A can sits in front of her with a bottle of water next to it. Rations were meager for now. Getting the feel for how long between rest stops means they had to be thoughtful about what they ate.

She crosses her legs and picks up her can.

"Thank you." She sees him nod out of her peripheral vision. She eats quietly, before setting her can back down. He has already finished, and went back outside to check the perimeter. Yeonmi almost laughs. What perimeter?

She appreciates the silence and sleeps, resting her head on her bag in the corner.

* * *

The next day they come across the largest settlement they've seen for days. There is nobody to greet them. The houses on the outskirts remain vacant. Understandable. Yeonmi couldn't imagine staying out here in the middle of nowhere. Farming seemed nearly impossible. Water source was 100% reliant on trade.

Both of them unquestionably expected trouble. Junkies camped along the outskirts, maybe more stragglers or some fiends. However, nothing jumps out at them. They run into no trouble for two blocks, then they reach a barricade. Two men stood on top of the wall which was constructed between two buildings.

"What are you passing through for?" One of them shouts.

"Just heading north."

"You may stay here as long as you don't cause trouble. Welcome to Betty."

The gate squeaked open. A bland, grey town is revealed. At least Freeside had a bit of colour, she thinks, and oddly longs for the neons of New Vegas. Usually the bright lights have a habit of to giving her a headache, but they would be preferred after nothing but orange sky and now tasteless grey.

Two more guards that remained hidden close the gate behind them.

As Ulysses and Yeonmi strolled down what looked like Main Street, Freeside was the last thing on Yeonmi's mind. No junkies, disgruntled locals, or drug dealers to be found. She crosses her arms.

The two of them find a room to stay in run by this little spot of sun named Gladys.

"I've never met anyone named Gladys." Yeonmi says.

"I've never met anyone named Yeonmi." Gladys beams with energy. She is the center of this town. Everything seems to rotate around her alone, thriving.

Yeonmi smiles for the first time in days, and Ulysses finds contentment in her cheeriness.

They get to their room and it is the cleanest thing they have seen in probably both of their lifetimes. Even cleaner than their place back in Clark.

Yeonmi takes her boots off and sets off for the bathroom. She changes into her clean clothes and smiles when she plops down on the bed. Sleeping is the only thing she can think of right now. Ulysses can do what he wants.

"You should change your bandage." He speaks.

"Don't worry yourself. I'm an adult, I know how to handle a bullet wound."

He begins counting out caps.

"Where exactly do you expect to go?"

"I am an adult. I know how to handle myself."

Sass never looked so good.

"Okay… just don't get yourself into trouble."

He leaves. Smiling, just barely, she notices.

Yeonmi gets up reluctantly and begins undressing then redressing her wound.

After a cold bath, Ulysses returns.

"Find anything cool?" Yeonmi asks, sleep thick in her voice.

"Not especially."

She hums and buries her head in the pillow. He notices the half empty wine bottle on the nightstand. Before he could question where she got it or who she got it from, she was already asleep.

He thinks she is his Gladys, unable to leave orbit. Unable to determine why.


	5. Part 5

_Part 5_

"Shady Sands. Shade sounds good about now," Yeonmi held her hand over her eyes and did see what only appeared to be a small group of buildings in the distance.

"Sand… not so much." She shuffled her foot, sending a few stray pieces of road flying.

"Only place bigger than this would be New Reno," Yeonmi felt a speech coming on.

"Because Shady Sands has rules. Strict. This is where NCR came from. Just a little village, over 100 years ago."

"I bet they have a lot of history." She must have traveled through here once. She decided it wouldn't be practical to think she could remember some town but not her own sister.

Instead of walking behind him now, she walks next to him. She hopes things are better between them. Seeing as Shady Sands was such a large place, it would be a good time to send a letter.

* * *

They arrived late in the evening. Another clean room for the night convinced Yeonmi she was blessed. Things had gone surprisingly well so far, only one bullet wound and only one encounter with crazy people in the desert.

She thought Shady Sands was an image of what New Vegas could eventually look like if NCR took over. Not too bad, she thought. But the situation in the Mojave was considerably different. They were deep in NCR territory by now. Legion were too far out to cause problems. She thought about how things would have to end somehow. NCR, Legion, and Brotherhood would have to get along. Maybe even Enclave, Arcade had mentioned their strength a few times_. It would be impossible for them to all get along._

Ulysses saw the deadness in her eyes. She was sitting on the bed of the room they got. He let her think for a while, then decided it would be good to break her out of it after a few minutes.

He sat next to her on the bed.

_NCR would find her again to get back Hoover Dam. It was inevitable. Maybe Legion would find her too. Hunt her, track her, like they do._

"Yeonmi."

She only heard Boone. She blinked a few times and looked down. A twinge of nervousness hit him when she didn't respond.

"Mi-yeon." He said again.

_Never say goodbye,_

_Don't make me cry,_

Her hand unconsciously reached for his fingers. He saw her pain. Flashing between then and now.

She jerked her hand from his and skirmished back onto the bed and tucked her head into her knees again. A thousand voices screamed at her. The Divide pulled at her. Drowned her in memories not so fond. She cried without a sound.

Ulysses remembered wanting revenge for the innocence lost. Much remained unsettled during her tour. Part of him wanted to see her suffering then. She was suffering now, and he did not feel gratification. He stared at the floor, his hand burning where her fingers touched. He decided after 10 minutes of just sitting, thinking, to leave her alone. He set some food out for her and left for the night, deciding he needed to think.

Yeonmi was alone.

* * *

When she woke up, it was 9:00 am. She did not remember much from last night. An unfamiliar tune ran through her mind on endless repeat. She was tucked into the center of a queen sized bed. She was almost sent into pure panic when Ulysses wasn't there. She knew he was real. She remembered him. She got up and stumbled into the bathroom. He was not there. Returning to the main room also proved empty. This was an experience she had never remembered having before.

'You are a grown woman. Compose yourself.' Ran through her brain while the song played. It was an undeniable lost feeling. Literally and figuratively. She however did not allow herself to cry.

Suddenly, the door opened. Yeonmi was standing across the room on the other side of the bed.

"Hey." She whispered, nearly breathless. Back to Yeonmi.

He didn't respond at first, which worried her. He sat a plastic bag he had on the bed.

"Good morning. Did you sleep?"

"I guess so." She looked down, cursed herself for not remembering the night before.

"I'm sorry if I did something weird last night. I can't remember."

It was enough for him.

"Don't worry about it," Again. After wanting to see her suffer, he felt like the wind was knocked out of him. He did not want to pursue this. Noticed how she didn't eat much of the food he brought her. Said it made her feel sick.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. So much pain in a few words.

"Don't apologize." He wanted it to be over.

Energy buzzed through her, like when you don't get much sleep. Her leg bounced. A trait uncommon now, maybe for her peppy self before. But not so much anymore.

* * *

They both decided it would be good to stay another day, just to fully rest up before getting back out on the road. Yeonmi thought it would be a good idea to go now, while she was full of energy, but he insisted. She did not argue.

They were walking through one of the oldest parts of town. A statue stood in the middle of a square, arranged with actual living trees. Yeonmi appreciated the green, and the obvious effort by the townspeople to keep up with trimming trees. It was not a very busy part of town. Mostly tourists gathered only for a few seconds, then went about their business.

"Vault Dweller…" Yeonmi read the plaque before looking up to further examine it. It wasn't exactly the biggest statue she'd seen, but most likely the best maintained. Sun shone off of the figure of a man walking determinedly south.

"Lived a long time ago. Much before us. Town still appreciates what he did for his people."

"Do you know much about him?"

"He lived over 100 years ago. To make a long story short, he helped his people, then was exiled. Built up a little community, which also suffered for some time. Unsure of what happened afterwards. Maybe Enclave got them. Or NCR."

Yeonmi fully understands nearly nothing has a happy ending in the wasteland. It was completely capable that his entire town was killed off, without mercy even.

She worried about Grass Valley, Enclave, and the fate of innocence. She also knows she is not a god. She can't save everyone, and she has a lot to make up for. They sat for a while. Yeonmi again, lost in thought.

* * *

A/N:

_Thanks for making it this far._

_I wanted to make a reference to the original Fallout games here, I love them so much and they deserve much more credit than they get. The statue I mentioned can actually be found in Fallout 2. Here's a picture straight from the game: i. imgur U5zXlZ5. png  
_

_Reno anyone?_

_Thanks again. -haley_


	6. Part 6

_Part 6_

A day later and they're back on the road again, both of them wanting things back to normal. Another night in an abandoned cluster of homes. Another night of silence, almost feeling like back to square one, which she was more than comfortable with. Sleeping on a mattress frame with no mattress never felt so familiar. Yeonmi remembers he said she was outgoing, building a community. She couldn't imagine it, for the thousandth time.

She drifted off eventually, not for long though. She suspected when she was shaken awake by his voice. However, as soon as she sat up, he moved back to the surprisingly intact window. Her eyes finally focused. He was holding his submachine rifle while peeking out, just barely.

"What's the matter?" She asked him, more of a statement.

"People."

She got up and moved the tattered navy curtain, being sneaky obviously not on her mind.

About 5 people appeared to be preparing a wagon to get on the move. Two women, two men, and a child, sitting on the back of the first wagon. Lots of cargo.

"It's just a caravan, why are you so concerned? What time is it?" Yeonmi noticed the light and flicked through her pip-boy. She quickly found out it was nearing time for them to set out, 6:00am.

"Why didn't you wake me up for my shift?"

"I wasn't tired. Looked like you needed the sleep."

"I would call you sweet but you're considering attacking an innocent caravan." She continued gazing at the strangers while he checked his bag. She ultimately decided to say hello. Ulysses was shocked that she would just walk out like that, unarmed.

She crossed her arms, thinking of what to say, while Ulysses remained at the window, ready to jump.

Before she could speak, a man putting out the fire looked up at her. He appeared to be in his mid-thirties. His hair was black and buzzed, but covered by a faded red baseball cap. His armor wasn't too extravagant, obviously not a fighter or fiend. Ulysses was probably just tired. These people weren't a threat. She thought though, did she look like a threat to him so long ago? The man's warm voice brought her back.

"Awake finally?"

"Did you know we were here?"

"Of course we did. This is a pretty common place for travelers to stop. Not many crazies around here. A nice waypoint, but nobody's decided to settle I guess."

She didn't notice the woman approaching.

"Who's this, honey?" She wiggled her way under his arm, cigarette in her hand.

"I'm Yeonmi."

She smiled, her thin lips making her cheeks wrinkle slightly with smile lines and her blue eyes turning into little crescents.

"Well, I'm June. This is my husband, James." Another teenage girl approached, her hair blonde like June's, but cropped at her shoulders. A cigarette drooped from her left hand.

"Lacie." She stuck her hand out, and Yeonmi gently shook it.

May took her cigarette and squashed it with her tiny foot.

"So, it's just you?" Lacie's words seemed to come out so smoothly, her voice just barely gravely. Probably from smoking, she thought.

"Oh no, I have a friend. He's a bit… grumpy."

Lacie simply hummed before turning back and going to talk to the other man, who had his back turned, talking to the child.

"Let me go get him." Yeonmi turned away.

She went back to the house, Ulysses standing with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall. She saw the bags were ready.

"They're nice people," she remembered her earlier thoughts, and added, "Well, they seem nice. I guess the worst people can seem the nicest at first." She did not make eye contact, she did not smile. She put her jacket on and picked her bag up.

"Come on, I'm going to see if we can get a ride." She waited for him to get his things together, and they walked out together, her first, him following.

* * *

Yeonmi learned they were, in fact, traveling the same direction, to New Reno. The other man was named Mark, with a little boy only 8 they called T.J., which he explained stood for Tyler Jones, his first and last name.

Ulysses sat on the end of the wagon next to her. She kicked her feet slightly while he read something. For a few hours they sat like that, Ulysses reading slowly but steadily. Yeonmi herself could read, but also couldn't stand it. Staring at pages for hours wasn't her type of thing.

Maybe she preferred making the stories herself, living them.

She hummed the fragments of a song she shouldn't remember.

* * *

He finished the book eventually, coming back to reality. After surveying his surroundings and deciding he had no clue where they were, he looked over to Yeonmi. She was pretty slouched, with her eyes closed. There is absolutely no way she was asleep. He bent his head down slightly and just stared for a while.

There is absolutely no way she was asleep.

He shook her shoulder. Her eyes opened and she sat up, looking around, then at him.

"I wasn't sleeping." She leaned back and closed her eyes again.

She was sleeping.

He couldn't think of much else to do for the trip, nothing but dust and dirt behind them.

"We should have done this sooner," She spoke, still leaning back, eyes closed. "We've traveled so far. And I'm not even tired."

He looked at her.

"What?" Like he didn't just catch her sitting up sleeping.

"How's your wound doing?" He didn't have much else to do, so he decided to contribute a bit.

"Pretty good, I think. I didn't have much time to check it this morning. We'll be stopping soon though, so I think I'd check it then." She crossed her legs.

"Why do you think we're stopping soon?"

Her eyes opened. She shouldn't have known, but made up an excuse quickly.

"Well, judging by where the sun is, we've been going for a while now. Have to stop soon."

Of course he saw though her lie, but didn't want to push anymore. Didn't want another incident.

She felt things shift away from square one, slightly, but surely.

* * *

After just 10 more minutes of walking, they did stop. Immediately, Yeonmi wanted to know more about this place, and how she remembered. They were stopped at another gate. Ulysses also wanted to see if she knew more.

"I've noticed this part of the desert is much more secure. No fiends running around." He put the line out, and she took it immediately.

"It's the route between Reno and Sands. Trade routes have to be protected. Can't have raiders running lose." The answer came with a casual confidence, stating it as a fact. If she didn't think so deeply, she could remember things with ease, he guessed.

After passing the guards, she looked around at all the caravans, not feeling much. He found himself staring intently, looking for any indication that it was too much for her. But she just looked, now completely awake. Yeonmi did the talking in getting them a room.

He wondered if this was his place. Doing little experiments, testing theories. He felt more though, it was uncomfortable. A certain warmth and forgiveness around her. He didn't deserve it for trying to kill her. Or get her killed. Another thing, she made him question his motives. The line between getting her killed and killing her was blurring. Blurry wasn't something he appreciated. Square one was nice to him, simple. Get her to the destination and leave was the objective. He tried to remember the way he felt initially, found a twisted comfort.

She sat on the end of the bed, putting her hair up.

He could just let her go. Mark out the destination on her map, let her go.

She looked at him, eyes an endless obsidian quarry.

No emotion. Familiar, usually comfortable.

Yet now, more vacant.


	7. Part 7

_holy smokes. i'm sorry for the long absence. no excuses, let's just get right to it..._

_p.s., fixed some problems in part 6._

* * *

_Part 7_

Morning came quickly to Yeonmi. She was still quite awake, since her little nap on the trail. She watched the sun rise, eyes wide.

She heard James approach from their room.

He called out to her, "Mornin'. Where's your friend?"

"Sleeping still. He's been a little grouchy recently."

"June cooked somethin' up, here," He handed her a container Yeonmi failed to notice earlier.

"So, we'll be setting up our wagon here for a couple of days before we head out, you know, just to circulate goods and such. You don't have to stay if you don't want but, we'd like to have you along. Conversation can get a little stale with just us."

Yeonmi thanked him, and he returned to his room. She did the same, and glanced at Ulysses sleeping, soundly.

The leftovers were still warm. Yeonmi investigated and quickly ate what small bit of food was there.

She didn't want to interrupt his sleep but also didn't want to just sit there until he woke up. She was curious about this place. Ultimately, Yeonmi decided she would go out. Ulysses is an adult, he can handle himself. She walked from the old building and into the market.

It was still early, so many of the caravans were just getting up to buy breakfast. She could smell good food nearby. She wondered if this place was like Vegas, looking nice but almost bursting at the seams with hidden issues. People passed through here regularly, though, so many problems passed with the people. She knew the name of this place suddenly. Silver Peak, the major trade stop between the two big cities. A neutral between the two. Quickly, she shook the thoughts from her head, wanting to enjoy these two days, and content with what she remembered.

The stalls in the rows upon rows of the market were just opening. Yeonmi eventually spotted a medical stand and bought some bandages from the man there.

She also thought it would be a good idea to get some more food, for Ulysses. It was oddly impulsive of her to go and eat all of that without considering him. An uncharacteristic light energy was buzzing through her. Guessing it was a lack of sleep, she walked on, trying to guess what Ulysses would like to eat.

When she returned, Ulysses was awake, sitting on the edge of their bed.

"Hey, grumpy. I got you something," She set the food down and noticed how his serious aura clashed with her energized one.

"Is everything ok?" She stopped suddenly.

"I would prefer it if you didn't leave without me."

She felt herself get slammed back to square one with him.

"I'm sorry, I was just curious about this place. It's called Silver Peak, right? I like it here, it's very-"

"We need to talk." He interrupted her with a voice like quiet thunder. Her blood ran cold. She sat next to him, her energy gone.

"I understand there are many things you don't remember. There have been moments where you've remembered things, it didn't go well. If you go out remembering things, I don't want you to panic and get lost. Hurt someone. Hurt yourself. Even little things, like remembering the name of this place. Dangerous."

"And you being around me will help the situation how, exactly? Why are you so concerned?"

He himself realized how he felt responsible for her. Of course he backed it up with cold, calculated logic though.

"If you just go running off wherever you want, how are we supposed to continue on with this journey? I don't need you having breakdowns every day because you remember something terrible that happened a long time ago. Do you really want to remember these trivial things? Things that can hurt you terribly?"

She hadn't asked herself. Things just started coming back, whether she wanted to remember or not.

"I can't just go on ignoring my past. I would have never known I have a sister."

"And think about your reaction to your remembering this sister."

"I want to meet her."

"It's out of the question."

"And why? Because you said so? I'm an adult, Ulysses, I can handle myself."

"You have proven before that you obviously can't handle these things. And an adult? Can you even say for sure how old you are?"

"I won't let you speak to me this way, this is ridiculous!" She stood and made her way to the door.

"And where will you go?"

"Away from you!" She slammed the door behind her, leaving him sitting there, alone, again.

Yeonmi sat behind James' caravan with the girl, Lacie. Yeonmi could think of nobody better who was available to hear of her troubles. She also wanted to give the young girl something better to do than sit around smoking.

"Men can be so stubborn." Lacie stretched.

"You're so young, what do you know of men?" Yeonmi asked her.

"I'm just sayin'. He sounds like an asshole. Why stick around if he treats you like nothing?"

"It's complicated. He's taking me somewhere and I don't know where it is exactly. I would be stranded without him."

"Yo, you shouldn't give him that power over you. He can just keep treating you like crap and get away with it."

"For someone so young, you have quite a bit of wisdom. So tell me, how do I even things out?" Yeonmi crossed her legs and listened.

"Make him want it, nah… make _him_ need _you_. He's like, the strong silent type right?"

"I guess so."

"The strong silent types are the most loyal. You have to get him before he gets you."

"What if I don't, um… want him?"

"Hey. I'm the one with the plan here. This is for the good of both of you. Plus, you would be cute together so let me say this,"

Yeonmi couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd rather be back with cranky Ulysses right now.

"As I was saying, make him need you. All women have it. That spark, that something, and I'm not talking about your body. You two just fought, right? Apologize. Make him feel like a hero, even if you were right. Be extra likable, trust him. Okay don't get the wrong idea when I say this, but touch him. Like just on the arm or something. Not too much though, just barely enough to make him want more."

Yeonmi's face felt a bit warm. This is Ulysses they were talking about here. It's easy for Yeonmi to forget he's just a man. She can't remember feeling like she needed someone, romantically at least. If Ulysses were to just disappear she would be petrified, but not devastated from losing him.

"That's pretty much it. Oh, and let's just wait to see if he comes looking for you."

"Thanks for the advice, I guess." Yeonmi was a bit shocked at what she'd heard. From a teenager. But she agreed to at least wait for Ulysses to come find her. They both needed time to cool down.


	8. Part 8

_Part 8_

Ulysses finished eating the food she'd left for him and decided to go look for her. She seemed like she could be a bit stubborn, and god only knows what kind of trouble she was getting into. He didn't mean to piss her off and make her run away. It was the exact opposite of what he wanted. He scoffed. Like this world cared about what he 'wanted'.

Personally, he hadn't traveled through this part of the country very often. As far as he knew it was just a little rest stop for traders to keep goods in circulation. It didn't take him long to find their caravan, with June set up out front. She smiled at him, "Good morning! I guess you're lookin' for your girl, huh? She's out back with Lacie."

Not 'his girl'. Not anyone's girl.

"Well look who it is, Mr. Tall and Angry." Lacie crossed her legs.

Yeonmi genuinely did want to apologize. She was going to half-follow Lacie's plan. Which half she was following, would be decided later. Her emotions were still sort of everywhere. Yeonmi stood, confidently, despite her shortness.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I do admit I'm more vulnerable than many, and I appreciate that you want to look out for me."

Part of Yeonmi's plan was to utilize some of Lacie's ideas, but mix a few of her own.

Part 1: Find out how much he cares.

Part 2: Try to take advantage of that in some way.

Part 3: ?

She used the term 'plan' loosely. It was more of a way to avoid admitting her curiosity, her interest. He was Mr. Tall and Angry. Mr. Emotionless. Mr. Inhuman.

But if she could help Boone through his problems, she could work this out, she thought.

Except for when he's glaring at her. Boone had a sort of glare as well, but it was always hidden under sunglasses and his unwillingness to make eye contact. She knows eye contact is psychologically one of the strongest ways you can convey your feelings, but Ulysses just made her feel a million times smaller.

"Could you not stare me down?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean? Pay attention to your body language, it looks like you want to strangle me."

He uncrossed his arms but his eyes remained intense.

"Okay, it's a start." It was easy to assume he wasn't too much of a people person. Yeonmi considered herself pretty agreeable. Blunt at times, but agreeable.

"I don't want to travel all the way out here then have you run off, get lost, or die." He summed up their whole argument in one sentence.

"I understand. Thank you."

"It's unlike you to give up so easily," His retort surprised her.

"And you know me so well?"

"You can't keep your personality straight can you?"

"I'm still trying to find out who I am, Ulysses." Her tone wasn't angry, but lost.

"Sorry."

"Talk about being out of character…"

They both walked from the caravan.

"So since you're feeling adventurous today, go ahead."

"Ah, now that you're here to look after me?"

"Of course."

This whole 'make him need you' thing wasn't so easy.

"I want something nice."

"Anything spesific?"

"Not really. I don't want to waste much money but, something. I want to remember this place."

"Dangerous." He looked around.

They wandered through the various caravans before coming across a woman, alone, her stall so miniscule compared to the others. She was noticeably thinner and sickly looking than other traders in the area. Yeonmi approached simply because the stall was so colourfully decorated, but appeared empty.

"Hello, dear, see something you like?" Her voice peered out.

"I don't know, there's so many." She thought why would she need a scarf out here? But they were so beautiful.

She touched an ivory one with flowers and lace patterns covering it. She admired its softness, and its cleanliness.

"How much is this one?"

"Just 15 caps, miss."

She counted out the money and they made the trade. Yeonmi walked away happy. He wanted to question her motives for buying something so frivolous, almost wanted to scold her for buying something so pointless. They walked for a while longer, Yeonmi looking around intently at everything. Ulysses, significantly less interested, eyes forward but all attention on her every move. He made her stop for some necessities, then back to wandering. As noon drew nearer, Yeonmi decided to return to their room. She immediately went to her rifle, her Patience. She untied the stained cloth that had been attached before she bought it and replaced it with the new, soft scarf. She aimed across the room, testing the new cheek rest, then hummed with contentment. Her face would no longer be blistered on the rough rag.

"Thanks for following me around all morning," Yeonmi was suddenly hit with the need for a nap.

"It's not like I had a choice."

"Of course you have a choice. You could just leave me if you wanted to. But you don't, and why?"

"I'm responsible for you."

"You've made that clear."

"Honestly? I have nothing else to do with my time. I'm thinking once I get you up there, I'll keep going north. Away. Once you're home safe I can try again at a normal life."

She wasn't surprised by his answer. More concerned at getting back to Vegas once she had enough of the little town. She couldn't possibly just abandon Boone like that either. It hit her then that this was the perfect opportunity to write a letter. Finding paper was hard, but finding something to write with was even more difficult. After finding everything she needed, she began:

"_Just because this letter is addressed to Veronica doesn't mean you can hoard it, if you can, please share this._

_I'd like everyone to know how things are going. I've been learning a lot about myself and it's hard, I'll admit. We've just passed Shady Sands, on our way to Reno soon, then to where I was from. Little place called Grass Valley. I also have a sister, Sun-mi. It upsets me to think of her. He also called me something else, Mi-yeon? It's likely I got my name jumbled when I tried to remember it. Other than the occasional flashbacks and fits of tears, I'm glad I'm doing this. I miss you all, especially Rex. I'd like to take this journey as long as I could. I've only had one bullet wound so far. I might be different when I come back, but I won't forget any of you. Unless I get shot in the head again, survive again, and lose my memory all over again. Just know, I love all of you._

_Yeonmi_"

She thought of writing a section something like 'if I die, so and so can have this and that', but decided against it. Things were going pretty well today, she avoided an argument with Ulysses and of course they're closer to their goal. She sat her pen down and laid on the bed. The springs shrieked, just a whisper under her small frame. A wave of tiredness washed over her. She kicked off her boots, forgetting Ulysses existence entirely, and began to mess with her pip-boy.

He was cleaning her 10mm in the desk off to the corner. After a few minutes he noticed her silence and glanced over his shoulder. When he saw her sleeping, he debated whether or not to wake her up. Considering they had a ride and she could sleep whenever, he let her nap for now, looking back every now and again.


	9. Part 9

A/N: this is the longest chapter so far, hopefully it makes up for a month of inactivity?! p.s. I apologize for inconsistencies in writing style (parts 1-3 are wonky lol). I'm sort of experimenting with what I like and what I don't, seeing as this is my only official story so far. it's looking like parts will be more spaced out, it's just a pattern I seem to have. Write a month skip a month. Thanks for reading ;)

* * *

One of the things that fascinated Yeonmi the most was her old personality, her morals. She considered herself peaceful, nonviolent as much as she can be. The way she figures it, the wasteland has enough loonies running around, killing and taking whatever they want. She'd admit, she could tend to be blunt at times, but never explicitly rude. Of course, she wouldn't allow anyone to walk over her either. When she woke up that day, and stepped back out into the sun a new woman, she felt content with loneliness. And when she met Boone, her first companion on the road, she always told herself she brought him along to help him, nothing personal. However, she still eventually had a small gang of people surrounding her and supporting her, and on some occasions even saving her life. If she saw herself as someone so satisfied with being alone, why surround herself with so many people?

"Ulysses,"

It was early, and for once, they both seemed to be on a generally similar sleep schedule. Yeonmi tired of asking herself endless questions, staring at the ceiling.

"Tell me about the first time you met me."

He stood across the room, making coffee. He eventually sat in an old chair next to the bed, Yeonmi still staring straight upwards. She knew he wanted to argue against it, but decided he was a bit bored himself as well.

"It was mid-summer, hot. I was in some little saloon, stopped after walking a while. I hadn't been in the Divide too long by then, everything new territory for me. Then in you walk, and sit right next to me. Covered in dust and sweat, determined. You put your little hat down and bring a life to this little town. You talk to the bartender like old friends, pass a few letters between the patrons and yourself. I must have been staring at you, you sit down, get a drink and smile the most genuine smile I've seen on anyone out here. Your face was a little pink from the sun and your hair was long and braided. You welcomed me to the town, finished your drink and apologized for having to leave so early. Said you had important deliveries to make, I believe it after seeing what you could do.

During this time, NCR was just starting to annex the area. Little changes. Old military bases occupied, alive. Also during that time, I was more or less working for Caesar, partially exploring the wasteland for him, undercover as a courier. With recent NCR presence I decided to stay for a while longer. You passed through every now and again. Whenever you were around, the town felt alive. Things, time almost, seemed to stand still without your presence.

Once you stopped by the general store while I was looking at a radio, to send intel back to Caesar. You saw me struggling a bit and fixed it pretty quickly, taught me how to connect to channels. I remember you made some little comment like, 'I could help you, you know, I am a courier, a quick one too. Plus I don't charge much, love the work just fine.' and just smiled, so naïve, but intelligence and cunning bursting at the seams. I could guess at this point you were just making it to the Vegas area.

It was pretty soon after this that you brought the package from Navarro and… I should stop there. You know what happens next. Or if you don't, maybe I can tell you later."

She tried to imagine herself acting so outlandish. So vibrant. Braids, really? And a hat? She must have been young.

"And you have no memory of this place?" His curious side showing.

"It makes me happy to think about," She rolled over and looked into his eyes.

"Thank you for that." She tried to give her most genuine smile, hoping it didn't look creepy.

And he saw it all. The intelligence, the cunning, the Courier Mi-yeon, the woman who raised a thriving community, destroyed it, and couldn't remember a damn thing. Such a burden was unimaginable to him. To remember such trivial things to him, being so domestic didn't fit her anymore. He wanted to stop but felt as though he couldn't.

"Meeting you again was… surprising. I was expecting energy, I was expecting the courier. What I met was… a shell. You are pale now, sickly, thin. Quiet and reserved. A woman, not some spry mailman. Weathered. A ghost now."

He couldn't.

"It's unlike me. Women are emotional things, fragile. I would understand a man surviving such trauma. Perhaps it's luck that you've made it so far now. I can tell you won't last like this."

He wanted to say more, he wanted to help but was disgusted at the notion. This was so undeniably wrong of him. Wanting revenge made him sick, again, for the hundredth time.

"Ulysses, thank you." She felt a part of her that she hadn't felt in quite some time. Everything felt warm, and not in the 'it is 90 degrees out and I cannot breathe' way. She really didn't want to cry now, especially with his comment on how weak women are. She silently decided to show him women can be just as strong as any man.

"Unrelated, but you might want to know, I killed Caesar. Quite some time ago." She regretted it immediately and choked on her breath.

"I knew he was dead but was unaware of your role. I'm… I knew the Dam would be the death of him."

* * *

The ceiling fan spun, Yeonmi stared. She was sprawled out on the bed, not moved since Ulysses talked this morning. Just resting, reflecting. When he asked if she wanted food, she said no. When he asked if she wanted water, she said no. She drifted in and out of sleep for the next few hours, and eventually got up around noon to bathe. Ulysses had gone off somewhere. Where, she couldn't be concerned.

Obviously not. She awoke that evening, to his voice, a rich echo in the tiny room that shook her to the bone. Her knees were drawn to her chest and she was leaning on the wall. One move in her sleep and she would have drowned in the now frigid bath water. He stood in the doorway, and called her name again.

"Yes?" She replied.

"How long have you been in there for?"

She stood up and carefully out onto the matted rug.

"Judging by how absolutely freezing I am: pretty damn long." He was back into the main room now.

"Could you bring me-"

He threw her bag into the doorway.

"Thank you."

This was bad. It didn't help her prove at all that she could be left alone. Lacie's 'make him need you' plan was going terribly. But she thought, is it so terrible to need someone? Since when did she become so disconnected with humanity, with human nature? She knows humans are social creatures, she knows she attracts people, even now in her thin ghostly appearance. Perhaps planning things would only cause her more personal trouble. Perhaps things will work out on their own, and if they don't then they don't.

After she dressed and drained the tub, she got a glimpse of herself in the cracked mirror. No longer a ghost, but now full-on walking corpse. Her hair was half wet and tangled. The bags under her eyes were puffier than ever. She felt lifeless as well, hunger washed over her, and she vomited up nothing but stomach bile. Ulysses heard this and rushed to the doorway, stopping just before, and anxiously called out, "Are you decent?"

Her only response was more coughing and hacking. He entered anyways finding her gripping the sink, looking dead as ever.

"Why? Why would I let myself get so involved with someone so bent on causing trouble and grief wherever they go? You feel more emotions in one day than I in a lifetime."

The whole time he was lecturing her, he was helping her to the bed. She sat down on her side.

"It is unhealthy to bottle things up. You are just as colourful as I." Yeonmi rubbed her eyes.

He handed her a bottle of water, and she accepted immediately.

"This isn't true, I am very open about my emotions."

"Maybe only the brutish things that men are known for, like getting fed up and finding everything bad about a situation."

"You act like you know me."

"Name one good thing that happened today."

"Nothing particularly good happened. Maybe for you, lazing around all day. Not caring about your life, not eating, and almost drowning."

"You saved my life, is that not something good?" She heard him stop what he was doing for a moment, then resume.

"I can't tell if this was something good or bad, you cause me so much grief."

"I can see your life without me. First, you are stuck miserably in Caesar's legion, living a life of killing innocents and your soul turns evil slowly over the years. It consumes you and you die filled with rage and sorrow. Not even the carrion eaters are interested in your corpse. Your life ends, a wasteland in a wasteland."

Ulysses sat next to her on their bed. Him, arms crossed; her, still looking like death.

Her head rested on his shoulder.

'Why do I need you?'


	10. Part 10

Abrupt knocking awoke her. Ulysses, nowhere to be found. She thought to ignore it, before the knocking became incessant hammering. Her long, pale legs untangled from the comforter and swung over the side of the mattress. She stood quicker than she should have, and stumbled over to the door, opening it a bit of a crack, the chain still locked. When she saw it was him, she unchained it and let him in. Ulysses flew past her, and began packing all of their things. Very inefficiently.

"What's wrong? Why are you so rushed? And where were you?"

He completely ignored her. She made her way to him, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. To her surprise, he moved away and kept packing elsewhere.

"At least tell me what's troubling you."

"We're leaving."

She checked her Pip-Boy. Only around 0800, so she hadn't slept in. Something must have happened.

"So get dressed. Don't just stand there." He added, and only then she realized she was in her shorts and t-shirt still.

Yeonmi surveyed the room and analyzed where to start with such a mess. It definitely hadn't been this messy their first day there. She'd say it looked like a bomb had went off but… too soon. After finding her bag, she rustled around for her traveling clothes and tried to find some privacy. Ulysses was between the bathroom and the bed, back and forth, deciding which chems to leave and which to bring along. She huffed and decided facing the corner would be satisfactory. It dawned on her that she really didn't care what he saw. He was so damn distracted with panicking he probably wouldn't notice at all. She dressed, folded her old clothes, put them away and found him, fussing over his ammunition, hands fumbling.

She thought she'd never seen him so animated. His movements, thoughts, life, were all calculated and anticipated. Something had interrupted that peace he found in routine. So she let him fuss. Let him let it out. Until he was at the door, obviously going through some sort of mental checklist to see if he had forgotten anything. Guns, check. Medicine, check. Bags, check. Yeonmi-

He looked to her, sitting on the bed, legs and arms crossed. She opened her eyes and stood.

"Are we late? Did the caravan leave already?"

He looked to the door.

"Are you all right?" Her voice this time, softer.

"He's not going to make it. The little boy. I tried to help him but there's no use. Can't. They said they'd head back south. For a funeral."

She remembered the boy. Skinny as ever, shy too. Hid behind the uncle when she asked his name. Thinness aside, he seemed healthy.

"What happened to him?"

"Fell off the wagon. Broke his neck. No helping that, not here. Had to put him out."

She swallowed nothing but air.

No words were passed until they were down the hill, away from town, into the sunset.

* * *

Days of sitting around made her lazy. He would of led, but noticed her sluggishness. Instead, he walked next to her. Her eyes looked idle, she shuffled forward. Houses on the horizon seemed miniscule, unreachable. It occurred to her that she hadn't drank in a while, water or otherwise. She stopped walking and saw the sun setting from the corner of her eye. The usual orange, but fading to violet. The song jingled in her head, '_when I look up at that orange sky, I just want to be by your side_'. No tears would come. The only thing she could fantasize about to distract was the coolness of the night. No more orange, just black. Stars, and a breeze. No more heat. No more sweating out the last of her fluids. Dehydration. The word lingered in her mind, white against black. Ulysses said something, then again, the second time pulling her back. He held out a water bottle, half empty and saw him rooting through his bag for another. She drank the rest of the bottle in one swig, and continued walking. Suddenly she realized she needed to stay awake. Somehow.

"Can you make it to those houses?" Ulysses feared what he would find there. Although he did remember when she said there couldn't be many big raider hideouts between there and Reno, he still worried. She couldn't handle a fight now. He recognized the dehydration. Knew there wasn't a lot he could do, but time could. Time. It might have been a few weeks since they'd left. She'd been a moody wreck since, and he felt pity for her, but no anger. No resentment for taking this trip. He tried not to distract himself with thinking and focused on making sure she stayed shuffling. They maybe made it a few hundred feet before she stopped again. He'd been watching her so intently, he didn't notice the gas station, or the sun lowering into violet. She looked as if she had though. She turned a bit and started shuffling again. Fear crept up in is stomach. Which he somehow just realized, he must care a hell of a lot. More than he was ready to admit.

She entered first, no weapon drawn, just walked right in and set up her bedroll. Didn't care about eating anymore. Off came the shoes, then pants. Again with the undressing. He'd guessed she was overheating terribly by now. That last stretch even got to him a bit. He saved all the water for her though. She sat cross-legged on her bedroll. He knelt before her. Her eyes were closed, thanks to the throbbing. He began by feeling her forehead for temperature, then continued with the basics for someone who was dehydrated. She knew it too, the look on her face before appeared as frustration but he recognized the shame and guilt by now, he'd seen it non-stop since they'd met. Knew the difference.

Yeonmi was grateful that no tears would fall. Partially because she'd lose more water, but mostly because she'd already shown her lack of control over her emotions. His poking and prodding at her was a minor annoyance as well. Nothing got past the fog of her migraine. She almost wished she were moving still. Shuffling distracted her from the dizziness. He took two bottles of water and told her to drink them before she even imagined falling asleep. All she could do was nod, and began drinking while he set up his bed roll, across the room from her.

She was too grateful for words. How he could stand her very presence, she had no clue. Again, she didn't question it, and drank until both bottles were empty, then, slept. He watched her, no thoughts, just watched her. Couldn't think, didn't want to. He even let himself drift in and out of sleep a bit.

* * *

Hours blurred into days, then stopped. Children ran freely, nobody really noticed them walk into town, aside from a little girl. Her hair was braided in rows, her hand in her mouth, staring at Yeonmi. Ulysses saw her smile in a motherly way, which made the child giggle and run back to her house. He got her attention and nodded towards a lake. A few people, actually swimming there. Ulysses was approached by an old man, and the two began talking. Yeonmi, however, approached the lake with a bit of determination. Ulysses was recommended a place for them to stay and trade, and learned the name of this settlement: Walker. He hadn't even noticed Yeonmi wandering off. Trying to hide his panic, he looked calmly, and saw her, already approaching the water.

Her body was always covered. She wore a hat, and a long sleeved jacket with pants when the sun was up, so sunburn wouldn't be too much of an issue. She'd seen too many cases of skin cancer in the Mojave, usually just called 'sun sickness'. So aside from her face a bit, she was pale and tall, as well as lanky. She went mid-thigh length in the water and crouched. She submerged her head, and whipped it back, causing water to fly through the air and her hair to hit her back with a wet slap. She was beautiful. She knew it, every person at that lake knew it. Fair haired girls with freckles were common in the desert. Brunettes and dirty blondes were popular. To find a woman so pale with dark hair, as well as eyes, was difficult.

Ulysses walked to the water's edge, near her bag, and stood, rather awkwardly. She approached him, legs slicing through the water like knives.

"Go find somewhere to stay, then come get me. I want to be here for a while."

He nodded and she turned back. He was tempted to stare, any sane man would. But was he classified as sane? That aside, he left before he could be caught, taking her bag with him. Absent mindedly, it seemed, as he left her no clothes. She stayed in the lake as the sun fell, playing with the children and talking to travelers. Eventually, Ulysses returned, and she said good by to the people who'd gathered around her. They returned to their room. A word to describe it would be 'homely'. Two beds for once, separated. Everything was rather neat, but dirty. No bath, and no running water. On the desk next to her bed was a bible. She sat, in dry clothes now, and Ulysses brought her water and food. She thought, he must think her incapable. A child. The two of them ate, and she realized they hadn't held a conversation for days.

"How are you?" Her voice broke the silence.

"I'm alright."

She nodded.

"And you…?"

"I'm… okay." She smiled at this small question.

He knew what awaited them in Reno. He knew he had to prepare her. Couldn't kick up too much of the past now, needed to see her happy for as long as he could, before Reno.

* * *

a.n. : been away for a while again, sorry. had to study hard for ECA, end of course assessment, for school. kind of determines if you graduate on time in my state so, hella important. i think i nailed it. anyways. have this chapter (the longest so far) :)

plus, may be starting a new story soon about fallout 3 protag. will write 4 chapters in advance so i always have shite to upload. WWSOT is kinda an experimental thing now, seeing what i like. but it's still a big part of yeonmi's story, so i still take it very seriously.

thanks for your continued patience and support,

c4c


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